toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
