you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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