You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
