I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
