Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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