chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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