just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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