jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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