What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
