people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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