WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
