Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
