I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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