how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
A+ Viking dick
The Olympian is in my bed
jump out the window naked night went bad
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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