I look better un-naked...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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