i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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