i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
