I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
