All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im six kinds of drunk right now
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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