Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
