she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize