Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
