your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
