maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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