Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
