You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
