as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
