Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
jump out the window naked night went bad
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
