last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
