Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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