I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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