hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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