I'd wear matching sweaters with you
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
