I'm gonna have a badass scar
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
