I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
