Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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