ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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