Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
