Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
