is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
