After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
