2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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