please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
