i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
40s are totally the cure
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
