He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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