please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
