garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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