things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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