did you get engaged???
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
