so explain again why im purple
no
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
