people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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