I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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