I think my vagina is haunted
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
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