Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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